Being “poor” versus “being poor”

There is a saying in Tibetan that “at the door of the miserable rich man sleeps the contented beggar.” The point of this saying is not that poverty is a virtue, but that happiness does not come from wealth, but from setting limits to one’s desires, and living within those limits with satisfaction. – His Holiness the Dalai Lama

A few days each week, I receive an inspirational quote from the office of His Holiness the Dalai Lama via Facebook. I really enjoy reading them and passing them along. The one included here, reminded me of several experiences I’ve had, beginning in college and throughout my years traveling as an employment & training consultant.

While I was in college, extra money wasn’t always readily available. I learned how to make a dollar stretch, but frequently felt “poor.” I recall attending some function at the student center where I engaged in a brief, but profound discussion with an older “student.” (I was actually never clear on his status. He was around a lot. I learned to play Chinese chess (not checkers) from him.) For some reason I mentioned that I was too poor to ___________ (don’t remember exactly what), and his response was “you don’t know what poor is.” I remembered being slightly offended by his abrupt and dismissive tone. After some thought, though, I realized a few things. First, perception is everything. Not necessarily everyone else’s perception of me, but my perception of me. Second, life experiences matter. From his vantage point, having experienced poverty in a way I never had, his definition of “poor” was quite different than mine. It didn’t make my definition invalid; It was simply different based on life experiences. 

Throughout my years traveling, I had the opportunity to meet and work with some truly amazing people. Some were “poor” and some believed they were “poor.” What is the difference? The difference is exactly what the Dalai Lama pointed out.

Let’s return to my experience with the “student” for a minute. What he was really telling me, that I didn’t quite get at the time, is that “poor” is a state of mind, as much, if not more than, a state of being. I’ve met countless numbers of “poor” people, and some had money.  I have a friend who believes she and her family are poor. Her children believe they are poor. She makes choices everyday that reinforce her perceived reality. She could have all the money in the world, and it wouldn’t be enough. It’s sad. It’s unfortunate. But, it’s her choice. And, I’ve met countless number of “poor” people who would never think to define themselves as “poor.” In fact, they’d be hurt and insulted if I tried to define their reality for them.

I’m not “poor.” I never will be.

Food for thought.

KDM

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Tagged: being content, Being poor, Dalai Lama, poor people

Posted in: Motivation & Inspiration